


Like A Punch To The Gut

by Creej



Category: White Collar
Genre: Gen, Loss of Faith, Overheard Conversations, untintended consequences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creej/pseuds/Creej
Summary: Neal overhears a conversation while Peter is in the hospital and takes drastic action to resolve the issue.
Relationships: Elizabeth Burke/Peter Burke, Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	Like A Punch To The Gut

**Author's Note:**

> This story goes AU after S5E1 At What Price.
> 
> Inspired by sahiya's Through The Storm and To The Shore.

Neal stopped short outside Peter's hospital room, hearing Elizabeth vent (not for the first time, he thought) about how Peter had never been in as much danger before he took Neal's deal. There was his kidnapping by Keller, his poisoning during the Novice case, the brake lines on his car being cut and not to mention his being framed for Pratt's murder and spending weeks behind bars.

"El, first of all, Neal's the one who saved my life during the Novice case," Peter said. "And it was James Bennett who initiated the chain of events that led to my incarceration. How could Neal possibly be responsible for the actions of a man he hadn't seen since he was three? You're not being fair."

"It still doesn't change the fact that when Neal's past comes calling, you get caught in the crossfire and he gets away clean," Elizabeth said and Neal could _hear_ her scowl. "He's a menace and you should have left him where he was."

"So I should just send him back? Why? Because he can't completely eliminate the risks that come with the job?" Peter asked.

"White Collar is supposed to be the safe division," Elizabeth said, ignoring her husband's questions. "With Neal around, it's been anything but for you."

"White Collar is only safe compared to other divisions," Peter said. "You have no idea how many times a crooked accountant or embezzler or crooked real estate agent has pulled a gun on me, how many times I've been shot at. And as far as Neal goes, he's an anomaly in white collar crime. Most conmen start out nonviolent but eventually devolve. They hurt, sometimes kill, their marks when the con starts falling apart. Neal went out of his way to avoid violence. When his cons started unraveling, he cut his losses and moved on."

"But since Neal started working with you, you've almost died, Peter," Elizabeth said. "That's worlds away from being shot at. You could have died in that so-called accident, you could have been killed while in jail..."

"And none of it was Neal's doing," Peter said.

"He's the common denominator," Elizabeth said. "And he knew the man who shot you this time."

Neal stopped listening as he turned away. He couldn't deny that Elizabeth had a point. Every time since Peter took his deal and had been hurt - with the exception of the Novice case - he'd been involved, even if just peripherally. And he _had_ known the perp who'd shot Peter. He'd worked with him on one job, years before Peter even got his case and the association had lasted maybe a week. But evidently, the mere fact that he'd known him was enough for Elizabeth to lay the blame at his feet. Looked at that way, she probably blamed him for the poisoning too. After all, he'd had a passing acquaintance with the woman responsible.

"Peter wants you to come for dinner," Elizabeth said when she called a few days later, when Peter had been discharged.

"Just Peter?" Neal asked.

"Well, I want you here too, sweety," Elizabeth said, as if she hadn't blamed him for all her husband's problems just days ago.

"Tonight?"

"Tonight," Elizabeth confirmed.

"I have plans," Neal said. "Can't cancel. Please give Peter my regrets." He hung up before she could ask.

His thoughts returned to the idea that had presented itself after he'd overheard Elizabeth's rant. It was drastic and Moz would be horrified by it, especially since there was so little time left on his sentence. But if it had a chance of keeping Peter safe (safer) and Elizabeth from worrying... Despite her harsh view of him, he still liked her. And Peter...well, he'd never trusted anyone the way he trusted the agent. He needed to talk to someone about it, get a different viewpoint or alternate solution. Peter was out; he'd just tell him he was an idiot and Elizabeth was just venting. Moz was definitely out; he'd agree with Peter though he'd never admit it. That left June. She wasn't entirely impartial though she was more so than the others.

After thinking about it long and hard - and talking to June (he was right; she was the most impartial but she'd just told him to do what he thought was best), he settled on a course of action. He'd frustrate Moz, disappoint Peter but Elizabeth would rest easier if Neal's past had no chance of biting Peter in the ass.

"Explain this, Caffrey," Hughes said as he regarded Neal across his desk.

"According to my work release, either party can void the contract at any point, no questions asked," Neal said. "I wish to void the contract and serve the remainder of my sentence in prison."

Hughes studied Neal's face, looking for a clue to explain his request. A futile exercise, he knew. Neal Caffrey wasn't the best conman to come along in a generation for nothing. "You have less than four months left," he said. "Why now?"

"Three months, eight days," Neal said. "As for why..." He hesitated. How much would the senior agent understand? Would he understand at all? "I'll just say that there are factors in play that are out of the Bureau's ability to resolve," he said.

"Have you discussed this with Peter?" Hughes asked. "As your handler, he should know."

"No sir, I haven't," Neal said. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't inform him of this."

"He'll be disappointed," Hughes said.

"I'm aware of that, sir," Neal said, dropping his gaze. "But circumstances being what they are..." He shrugged. "Like I said, not ones the Bureau can resolve. This is the most logical solution."

Hughes sighed, seeing the determination - and sadness - in Neal's expression. It was obvious to him that the young man didn't _want_ to do this, he felt he _had_ to...for whatever reason. "When?"

"Before Peter's cleared for duty," Neal said as he stood. He was surprised and touched when Hughes rose as well, offering his hand.

"We'll miss you around here, Caffrey," Hughes said. "You've done good work, a real credit to the team."

"Thank you, sir," Neal said, grasping the offered hand. "That means a lot. It's been an honor."

Elizabeth mounted the stairs to June's mansion. amazed yet again that Neal had lucked into such a good arrangement. Her thoughts faltered. She knew it was her fault the ex-conman was pulling away from them; his last call had made that clear. He'd told her he'd overheard what she'd said and he'd taken steps to resolve the issue. She'd apologized for her outburst but she could tell he'd only accepted it to be polite. Since then, he hadn't called, hadn't stopped by the house and all their calls had gone straight to voicemail. It had been almost two weeks.

"I'm afraid he's not here," June said when she answered the door.

"Oh," Elizabeth said, disappointed. "When will he be back, do you know?"

"In about three months," June said. "He had his parole revoked."

"What?! Why?" Elizabeth asked, surprised.

"Why? To keep Peter safe, of course," June said as if Elizabeth had missed the obvious. "You can hardly blame Neal if your husband gets hurt while he's in prison, now can you? You placed the responsibility for Peter's safety on Neal and every time your husband was gotten hurt, Neal felt like he'd failed - failed Peter, failed you, failed himself. You made him responsible for things completely out of his control. This last incident is just the straw that broke the camel's back."

"I didn't make him responsible..."

"Perhaps not explicitly," June said. "But that's the impression he got. Law enforcement comes with risk, regardless of your place in it. As an agent's wife, you know this and yet, from what Neal told me, you seemed to expect him to negate those risks. You put entirely too much pressure on the boy and this is how he cracked."

"I never meant..." Elizabeth faltered.

"Perhaps not," June said. "I understand the fear - Lord knows how often I worried about my Byron - but to blame Neal when something went wrong, that was more than unfair."

Elizabeth couldn't argue with that. She didn't _really_ blame Neal for what happened to Peter during their partnership - she'd been scared and being scared made her angry. Neal had just been a convenient target, a convenient scapegoat. And that attitude had prompted the young man to send himself back to prison in a misguided attempt to keep her husband safe. "If you hear from him, could you tell him I'm sorry?" Elizabeth asked, feeling tears sting her eyes. "I'm really, really sorry. I never meant..." She stopped and turned away, not wanting the other woman see her cry.

"What do you mean, his parole was revoked? Why wasn't I informed?" Peter demanded.

"Because he asked me not to," Hughes said.

Peter abruptly stopped his agitated pacing as Hughes' words registered. " _He_ had it revoked? For God's sake _why_?"

"He didn't tell me," Hughes said. "Only that there were circumstances that the Bureau couldn't resolve. If it makes any difference, he didn't want to, he felt he had to. He let me see that much." He saw Peter war with himself between getting back to work and getting answers. "Go talk to him," he said. "Officially, you're not back on duty yet. Go. I'm curious about those answers myself."

Peter drummed his fingers on the concrete table as he waited for Neal to be escorted in, Hughes' words echoing in his head. What circumstances had Neal referred to? Why had Neal felt it impossible to talk to Peter about whatever was going on? Why did Neal think sending himself back to prison - with so little time left - was the solution? He was no closer to having answers when Neal was brought in.

"Peter," Neal said, not surprised.

"Neal," Peter responded. "Mind telling me why you pulled such a boneheaded stunt?"

"It wasn't boneheaded. I thought it through very carefully," Neal said, sitting across from Peter.

"Why?"

Neal didn't pretend to misunderstand. He knew exactly what Peter was asking. "Elizabeth," he said simply.

"Elizabeth?" Peter asked, confused.

"Think about it Peter," Neal said. "The one thing she and I can absolutely agree on is you should be kept safe. Elizabeth is convinced that my presence in your life constitutes an implicit danger. I didn't tell you because that would have forced a choice on you - keep me around and have your wife constantly worried and wondering if my past will get you killed or putting me back here and giving her peace of mind on that score. To me, the answer was simple. I survived prison for almost four years. A few months is nothing."

"She was just venting, Neal. She wouldn't want you punishing yourself like this."

"That may be but it doesn't mean she didn't have a point," Neal said. "You'd have never been on Keller's radar, James would have never shown up, you'd never have gone digging into him and stirring up Pratt in the process if it hadn't been for me."

"I made my own choices, did my _job_ ," Peter said. "And who says that I wouldn't have had reason to dig into Pratt anyway? Keller was a white collar criminal so he would almost certainly have gotten on _my_ radar. When I suggested you learn to take responsibility, I meant for _your_ choices, _your_ actions, not someone else's."

"I am, Peter," Neal said. "It's my responsibility, as your partner, to protect you and I chose to do it this way."

"And how is you being in prison supposed to protect me? How is this making me any more safe?"

"As Elizabeth said, when my past comes calling, it's you who gets caught in the crossfire," Neal said. "It wasn't _me_ Keller kidnapped, it wasn't _me_ that Pratt's henchmen went after and it wasn't _me_ James set up for Pratt's murder."

Peter sighed, reluctantly admitting Neal had a point. "We can figure this out later, after I get you your deal back," he said.

"No," Neal said. "Until I can leave New York, Elizabeth will consider me a risk to you. Besides, by the time the paperwork goes through, my sentence will be over. The government is never quick on something like this, even with you pushing it."

"I wouldn't be the only one," Peter said. "Hughes would be too. And you have no idea the favors the two of us could call in to make it happen."

"Save them for something more important than a convict with just a few more weeks left on his sentence," Neal said.

"All this is about El?"

"It is," Neal said. "She's more important to you than I am and she should be. And you're the most important thing to her. I have no illusions about how she feels about me, she was very clear on that point. She considers me a meance and she wasn't shy about telling you that you should have left me here, never agreed to our deal."

"Neal..." Peter sighed and rubbed his face.

"Don't worry about me Peter, I can handle myself," Neal said. "I did before."

"Before, you weren't an FBI informant," Peter said. "That changes things. Makes it more dangerous for you."

"I have it under control. Trust me this once. Please."

"I've always trusted you when it counted," Peter said. "You know that."

"Then trust me when I tell you I'll walk out of here unscathed when my sentence is up," Neal said.

Peter didn't look happy but he nodded as he stood. "Are you _sure_...?" he asked.

"Positive," Neal said. It didn't matter what question Peter was asking. He didn't want his deal back and he _would_ walk out in a month and a handful of days just fine. "Go home, Peter. I'm fine."

"Neal..."

"I'll stop by after my release," Neal said.

"On your way out of town," Peter said.

Neal said nothing, didn't mention that June was holding the loft for him, didn't want Peter knowing he'd decided to stay in New York. Let him think he'd be travelling the world on what remained of his illegal income. "Tell Elizabeth I'm sorry," he said instead.

"For what?"

"For being me," Neal said. "And dragging you, however inadvertently, into the disaster that's my past." He stood, offering his hand to his former handler, his friend. "Thank you, for everything. You made my sentence...a lot more fun than it would have been."

Peter didn't settle for a handshake and pulled Neal in for a hug, squeezing briefly before letting go. "It'll be boring as hell in the office without you there," he said.

"But on the up side, you won't have to worry about where your wallet is," Neal said. He smirked a little and held out said wallet. "Last time, I swear."

"Yeah," Peter said but looked sad as he said it. He regarded the younger man as he returned it to its place. "Promise me you'll let me know how you're doing...after."

"I'll send postcards."

Neal stepped out of the prison gates, reminded of the last time he'd done so, after the plane had exploded, killing Kate. But this time, there was no anklet, no Peter waiting for him. Instead, there was a cab, his ride back to June's. He'd debated calling Moz but dismissed it. From what June had told him in her letters, Moz was off to parts unknown with no definite return date, which meant he could be literally anywhere in the world with the exception of the extreme north and extreme south. Moz did like his comforts.

June was there to greet him when he climbed the steps to the mansion. "So, a free man," she said. "No anklet, no obligation to the Feds."

"Only one," Neal said as they went up to the loft. "I told Peter I'd stop by when I was released."

"And Elizabeth?"

"She meant well," Neal said. "And she wasn't wrong. My past had the unfortunate habit of getting Peter hurt."

"But what she expected of you..."

"Peter was as much my responsibility as I was his," Neal said. "We were partners, friends."

"So what will you do now?"

"Not sure yet but I have time," Neal said. They paused outside the loft door. "Thank you," he said. "For everything."

"Always a pleasure to have you, dear," June said. "You keep my life interesting."

"Not _too_ interesting, I hope."

"Just enough," June said. She let out a breath. "I left everything as it was," she said and held out a key. "The alarm is the same, though I'm sure you could bypass it if I had changed it."

"I'm reformed, remember?" Neal said with a smile.

"Not _too_ reformed, I hope."

Neal's smile grew a little. "Just enough," he said.

Neal took the subway out to Brooklyn, scanning the street for the familiar Taurus, finding it parked a few houses down from the Burke's. With uncharacteristic nervousness, he climbed the steps, wondering how Elizabeth would react to his presence, wondering how _he_ would react to _her_. The question was answered as soon as he rang the bell and the door opened, showing the woman in question.

"Neal!"

"Elizabeth. Is Peter here?"

"He's...he's out back," Elizabeth said, uncertain in the face of Neal's reserved demeanor. There was no smile, no quick kiss on the cheek, nothing of the friendly young man who'd been her husband's ward and partner. He was polite almost to the point of formality. As she watched him head to the back door, she knew why - the last time they'd spoken, he'd been under the (not entirely incorrect) impression that she held him solely responsible for all the times Peter had gotten hurt during his time at the Bureau. And having given him that impression, she'd most likely irrevocably damaged their friendship.

"I kept my promise," Neal said, standing next to Peter's chair, gazing out at the yard.

"What promise?"

"That I'd finish my sentence and be fine when I walked out," Neal said, looking at Peter. "And that I'd stop by when I was released."

"Is this a good-bye visit?" Peter asked, studying the other man.

"I haven't decided," Neal said. "I don't have definite plans yet. I may travel a bit, revisit old haunts..."

Peter nodded, following Neal's gaze back to the yard, watching Satchmo bound toward them. "You know you're always welcome here," he said.

"Am I?" Neal asked, scratching gently behind the dog's ears as he studied Peter in turn.

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Elizabeth," Neal said. "It hasn't been that long since she laid all your troubles at my door. I tried to protect you as well as I could, just like I did with Kate, but obviously not well enough for her liking." He sighed, gazing into the distance. "She wanted the impossible and she blamed me for not being able to give it to her."

"She knows it wasn't fair," Peter said. "And she'd like your forgiveness."

"Please, Neal," Elizabeth said softly from the door. "I...I was wrong, blaming you for everything. I never meant..."

"Just like I never meant to bring all that trouble into Peter's life," Neal said. "If I'd have known, I'd never have suggested our deal. I'd have served the additional four years then looked for Kate when I got out. You blamed me because I was the common denominator but how would you have felt if if you were blamed for every bridezilla you worked for, every little thing that went wrong at one of your events? By your reasoning, it would have been your fault because _you_ were the common denominator."

"You're right," Elizabeth said. "I blamed you because you were involved, even though there was no way you could have anticipated everything. I was just scared and took my anger at the situation out on you."

"I was convenient and you didn't want to consider the fact that neither of us may have had a choice in the matter. It was more comforting to think I made him do it somehow. I was good but I was never good enough to con him into doing something he didn't want to do."

To reduce the growing tension, Peter asked, "So where are you staying?"

"June held the loft for me," Neal said, grateful for the change in subject. "Not sure how long I'll stay though."

"And work?"

"It can wait. I'm not exactly destitute."

Peter hesitated. "I talked to Hughes," he said. "If you want, there's a place for you on the team as a fully paid civilian consultant."

Neal could practically feel Elizabeth stiffen at the offer. "I don't know if that would be a good idea," he said. "Not that I don't appreciate it, I do, it's just..."

"Me," Elizabeth said.

"I can't guarantee my past won't come up again and we all know how dangerous that can be," Neal said. "One of the reasons I had my parole revoked was so you could sleep easier at night. If I took Hughes' offer, you'd immediately blame me if Peter got hurt."

"I wouldn't..."

"Sure about that, Elizabeth? You had no problem blaming me when I was CI, why would my being a free agent change that? I'd rather not risk it."

"I've admitted I was wrong, Neal. What more do you want? How can I fix this if you won't tell me how?"

"Neal..." Peter laid a hand on the younger man's shoulder, seeing how tense he was. "If you need to distance yourself from the Bureau, from _us_ then do that," he said. "All I wanted to do was give you an option. That's all."

"And I appreciate it, Peter," Neal said. "And...I'll give it some consideration."

"That's all I can ask," Peter said.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I promised June I'd join her for dinner," Neal said. He nodded to each. "Peter. Elizabeth." When Elizabeth moved to precede him, he said, "I'll see myself out. You have a good evening."

Seeing Elizabeth's upset expression as Neal closed the door behind him, Peter said, "Not that I'm not sympathetic, El, but really, what more did you expect? Underneath that suave exterior, the flashy smiles, he's a sensitive person. What you said hurt him. A lot."

"I know," Elizabeth sighed. "I know how he is, I know I hurt him and I _am_ sorry."

"It'll take time to win his trust back," Peter said. "If that's what he wants."

"And if he accepts Hughes' offer?" Elizabeth asked.

"Then we'll be working together, with all that entails," Peter said. "The job won't be any more or any less dangerous than it already is."

"I never meant to hurt him so badly," Elizabeth said. "It just seemed it was one thing after another when you agreed to take him on..."

"I know you didn't mean to and I think, deep down, he knows it too," Peter said. "Just give him time, let him decided where you go from here."

Epilogue...

"Welcome back, Caffrey," Hughes said, shaking Neal's hand.

"It's nice to be back, sir," Neal said. "I understand I have you to thank for this."

"Not just me," Hughes said. "Peter, Jones, Berrigan, even AD Bancroft put in a good word for you."

Neal was speechless for a split second then said, "If you could give him my thanks." His mouth quirked. "I can thank the others personally."

Hughes gave a short nod, a smile tugging his lips. "I'll do that," he said. "But right now, I believe your partner has a case he could use your help with."

"That's why I'm here," Neal said with a smile. A few short steps took him to Peter's office and he entered after a perfunctory knock. Taking his accustomed chair, he asked, "What have we got? And please, no mortgage fraud. And as a civilian consultant, shouldn't I have my own office?'

"As observant as you're reputed to be, you're not very," Peter said.

"Meaning?" It was then that Neal noticed the second desk that occupied Peter's office - complete with his bust of Socrates. "Really?"

"You spent most of your time in here anyway so Hughes figured why not?" Peter said. He passed a file over to Neal. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

"Just one question," Neal said seriously. "How did Elizabeth react to the news?"

"She's...ambivalent," Peter said. "Just give her time."

"I can do that," Neal said. He let out a breath. "Alright partner, let's see what we have."


End file.
